Consistency is hard but perhaps essential for your own self-confidence and belief in your ability to perform and realise your ideas and view progress.
Reliable/reliability/UNreliable have been swarming my mind of recent. Are we consistently one thing? Can dependability change? What if I'm feeling low, unenergised, unwilling and it is leading to my inability to perform? Are others aware of this change or is it just me and my own psyche? Does pushing through lethargy (in mind, body and spirit) reward you with energy? I wonder if the procrastination of a responsibility/project/performance/duty is more exhausting than its execution.
But what if I fail......
But what if it is criticised.....
But what if it doesn't live up to expectation, mine or yours....
What if it is not perfect?
Then what do I do?
Is that it over? Am I finished? Am I unreliable, unable to perform?
Am I WEAK?
Fears manifesting, hoping to remain on the surface.
Don't sink, and no need to swim.
Allow the salt to hold you, trust it.
It has held much weightier.
It has been witness to much.
It is strong, beautiful, transparent, honest, dangerous.